The fear of surviving you

The fear of surviving you paralyzes me

As if I was game to a merciless hunter

With no chance of survival

The dread of surviving you is

Oh, love, a solitary house

Empty of everything, devoid of you

Where your laughter is absent

And the solitary beats of my heart

Echo throughout like a ticking bomb

I would have you in my cup of coffee in the mornings

See you in the reflection of the mirror in our bedroom

Smell you in the cold breeze of the mornings

Touch the folds of the sheets of the (unmade) bed

To imagine the warmth of your body by my side

And express silly thoughts waiting for a laughter

That would never come

And maybe for once I would make the bed

So that I could feel you are still there

The horror of surviving you

Crushes me under the disappearing weight of your body

On a lazy afternoon when you jumped on me

And kissed my cheeks, and my neck and my lips

Sealing your kisses with a smile

A smile forever printed in my memory

The sweetest thing alive

And, oh, those beautiful blue eyes!

My love, there’s no way of surviving you

I’d be eternally incomplete

As if they’ve torn off my limbs

As if they’ve carved out my heart

Don’t go, my love, don’t leave us tonight

Wait for me, I promise to pack my things now

I’ll hurry up, I promise I won’t last long

Even if I lack your helping hands

To straighten me up and color me right

Let me find my favorite memories of you and me

Before the ocean blue leaves your eyes

And settles on my soul

It might take a while as I can’t ask you where they are

Like the umpteenth time I lost my wallet or my keys

“One day you’ll lose your head” you’d sigh

That day has finally arrived the day you leave me behind

Believe me when I say

I will not allow the perjury of death

To do us apart

Hold my hand, squeeze it tight, hold on, my dear

There’s no storm that can destroy our home

Believe in me, my sweet sweet love

When I say I’ll find you into whatever darkness you might fall

Speak to me, don’t let us say our goodbyes

Hush my trembling lips from such terrible words

Lift your hand to my face and dry my tears

Don’t let the light be snuffed out from your eyes

Let them be candles inside our apocalypse

So that they guide me back to you

Like such precious stars they are

My map to forever find you

Forever hold you

Forever love you…

And never live in fear of surviving you